Forgiveness is more than just telling someone you forgive them. In fact, in many cases, you won’t even let them know that you forgive them. Forgiveness is a personal journey, and there are many forms. There is a step-by-step process, which is modified for different circumstances. Most of the time you won’t need to use it as a check off sheet, but in some cases where it becomes more difficult, it helps to know that there is a process. We will have more of the process later, but for now, we just need to understand what Forgiveness is.

1. Forgiveness is all about you, not the other person.  You don’t forgive them to make them feel better about what they have done.  Forgiveness is a personal journey that focuses on your feelings, rather than the actions of some other person whose actions cause you harm.  It is about finding a way to keep those feelings from blocking you as you move forward with your life.
2. It is a conscious decision. You make up your mind that you are going to let go of the feelings of anger or resentment.  Sometimes, it almost feels like it is automatic, but until you make up your mind to let it go, it can fester in your memory, and come up when you least expect it.
3. Forgiveness empowers you to accept that there is pain from what happened but that the pain does not define you.  You take control of your life and will not be held back by anger, hatred, or fear.  It brings a feeling of peace.
4. It is a skill, like playing a musical instrument.  There is a process to releasing these feelings that you can learn in a step-by-step method.  Using it will help you to letting go of the emotions that are blocking you from personal peace.